It seems that the behaviour of children is soliciting some media attention again.
This article highlights that a survey conducted in Britain for Barnardos found 54% of adults thought children behaved like animals. Barnardos was disturbed by this finding. They thought it showed “unjustified and disturbing intolerance of children”.
If ‘most’ children are not troublesome, as claimed in the article, why would the public think that children behave like animals.
I guess Barnardos might rationalise this finding. With smaller families and children as a smaller proportion of society perhaps adults are relying on stereotypes.
Instead I like to propose a radical idea. 54% of adults believe children are behaving like animals because children are behaving like animals.
I spend a lot of time with children. I have primary school aged children. I work voluntarily in classrooms, sometimes at schools other than those attended by my children. I supervise school trips. I hang out at places where there are lots of children, playgrounds, swimming pools, libraries. I agree with 54% of British adults, children behave badly.
Casting my mind over this year I can name numerous observed incidents of bad behaviour. Three weeks ago I supervised on a school trip to the theatre. At half time some older primary school boys, sitting in back of the tiered seating, began throwing rubbish at those on the seats below. I have seen chairs thrown in the classroom. I had a child who hid under a desk and would not come out. When adults see this it is no wonder they feel negative about children.
Barnardos have their head in the sand. Sure, only a small number of children are truly ‘troublesome’ if this means they end up having dealings with the police. But a large number display unattractive behaviour.
I think this comment may hint at what is causing children’s behaviour to deteriorate. ‘Half (the survey participants) disagreed with the statement that children who get into trouble were misunderstood and in need of professional help.’ I also disagree with that statement. Misbehaving children don’t need understanding, they need discipline.
What form that discipline should take is a question for another day.
One Comment
Consistent discipline is very difficult to provide. Especially if a child spends time under the care of different care-givers whose expectations, explanations of the rules and follow-through vary, (school is an obvious example).
We have a troublesome younger child who is a really determined, boundary pusher and as such, somewhat predictably, other people find him very difficult to care for. These other people come to us and complain about his behaviour, and rightly so, he behaves very badly at times. However, when we observe how they set out the rules and follow through we are not surprised that our son plays up for them.
Obviously our son needs to learn to behave even when the message is inconsistent and the consequences are not there but equally adults need to learn the art of being consistently clear about the expectations and if they make a threat about what will happen in the event of non-compliance they need to follow through because our son, now the tender age of 7, worked out some time ago that very few adults who interact with him do this and this is something he delights in exploiting.
School has become so bad, in that we feel like we have to spend as much time teaching the teachers as well as our son how to manage boundaries, that we are currently contemplating going back to homeschooling until we can get this ruly child to behave even when the adults are clueless!
One example from his teacher who reported an incident of misbehaviour to us on his part was to suggest, in October, that we give him one less Christmas present as a punishment. He was just 6 at the time! As if he would two months later understand why he was getting one less Christmas present! The suggestion missed on so many levels it was all I could do to not let something impolite out in response.